belfast is burning

don’t close the coffin yet.

There was a time in my life where I really enjoyed writing songs. I used to spend entire days penning lyrics and drafting simplistic melodies on the guitar. Picking out the individual notes, working hard to master new chords. Training myself to sing and play the guitar at the same time, always trying to improve the quality of my writing, making my lyrics even more interesting and concise. The trouble was, simply put, I was never really any good at it. Well, not all of it anyway. The words, those came easily. I can still look back at some of the lyrics I wrote down back in those days and be proud of myself. It was the whole “music” part of being a musician that never really worked out well for me.

                                 
                       above: an average day in the studio with richard.

On top of it all was this very acute awareness that I wasn’t any good at it. I was never satisfied with my rudimentary abilities on the guitar or piano, and, despite excessive practice, never improved much. I started playing when I was about 15 with a friend of mine named Mitch. He’s gone on to become something of a tumblr phenom while the only mild MySpace (remember that?) popularity I once had came directly from riding his very comfy coattails. Finally, I managed to convince myself to call it quits making new stuff sometime in 2010. To play myself out I put together a little internet EP aptly titled absence  (initially put out under the name “band” name red.eyed.soul, changed for continuity’s sake). Soon after, I cobbled together a music video in my spare time last year. However, the EP and the music video were both just for fun, as it were. My serious ambitions for creativity as career were long dead.

                                    
             there’s not much of a musical future for a man who’s audience
                                     consists entirely of tiny dogs.

So I suppose the question is, why push at it for 4 years when I knew from the beginning that I, basically, sucked? Well…I don’t really know a good answer for that. The only thing I can think of is that I was overwhelmed by a desire to put myself out there in such a vulnerable way. For whatever reason, I wanted to take everything about myself that was insecure and petty and jealous and mean and angry and shine a spotlight on it. There was something so…breathtaking in my own power to be the one pointing out my own flaws. Taking ownership of everything that was wrong in my life, whether self-inflicted or not, and not only acknowledging it, but releasing it to the world in a way that meant that much to me.

But why bring any of this shit up?

Well, the main purpose of this blog is the discussion and subsequent dissection of politics, propaganda, religion and pop culture, all while being as offensive as I see fit. As such, I spend a lot of time talking about the “other side.” I spend a lot of time yelling and causing a fuss. All of that fuss is, as I see it, very worthwhile. A necessary fuss, if you will. However, I wanted to take a moment to break up that fuss and remind myself (and maybe a few of you) what it was like to be that earnest, desperate kid. Because, I believe, in the image of that desperate kid you will inevitably find the blueprints of the passion I have now. In the memory of that earnestness (sitting on coffee shop stages and in crowded living rooms) you’ll see the beginnings of a man who would grow up to have a desire to spend his life using that talent for words he was developing back then fighting for his beliefs.

                                 

So bear that in mind next time you find yourself wrapped up in bitter nostalgia. Look around and take heart. Be proud of the person you’ve become. And do your damndest to continue to become something even better. Find the right place for you to be great it. Change your course as many times as it takes. But never give up.














Oh, right. And fuck Republicans. Whatever.

stranger things have happened.

Recently, someone sent me an email containing two images and a word document as attachments. There wasn’t much text to go along with the email, it simply read, “I hope you don’t mind. 100 level economics class.”

Apparently, someone decided that my loud ass was good enough for their research paper. Notice the heavy editing for profanity.

Also notice the crazily official citation. I feel loved.

The paper itself is actually quite good, as well. Which makes it that much sweeter.

evil is.

“Islam is ‘one of the great evils in the world.’”

For once I don’t have much to add. Well, I do, but it’s past 3 in the morning, my legs hurt and I’m not much in the mood for typing about the evil that is Islam. Instead, I’ll just link to this month old video.

reclaiming progressivism: fake liberals and the need for them to die as soon as possible

My wife attends a Liberal Arts college set in the middle of a religious city in a very, very red state. As such, she attends school with many extreme feminists, green party members, hipsters, pseudo-intellectuals… basically, fake Liberals. This is to be expected. I can’t fault them for ending up the way they did because I absolutely understand. In a religious stronghold like Salt Lake City you can’t just go mildly Left if you’re going to go Left at all. At least, you can’t start that way. In the beginning, you have to make that initial Left turn a really fucking hard one to have any impact or make any sort of impression upon your tried and true red state neighbors.

I would know. See, I was born in this pitiful valley in the very religion that dominates the entire state. I moved around a lot as a child, but seemed to always end up in the most conservative areas you could think of. Even in the traditionally Liberal parts of the country I happened to live, I always found myself occupying the one damn town or city that had a conservative edge. Eventually, I ended up back in Utah for about 5 years, this time in the South, living in a smallish city called St. George. Even more ultraconservative and Mormon than Salt Lake City has been in a very long time. More comparable to Provo or the small townships that dot mid-Utah all the way up to and including American Fork. Any Utahans that happen to read this will know exactly what I’m talking about.

Digression aside, the point is that I also made the hard Left turn when I was a younger man. At around 14, actually. So yes, I do understand. However, where I lack understanding is in the lateness of age that a lot of these classmates of hers are making that turn. The age of 14 seems reasonable. Then you start to grow up. You keep your politics, your theological opinions, your Liberal way of thinking; but you evolve all of it, you sophisticate your ideas and you cease the fiery, but ultimately pointless rebellion. Rebellion itself is not necessarily a harmful thing, but that blaze that comes with an initial formulation of opinion and belief that comes with the Left turn I’ve mentioned so many times is a harmful and useless thing. Thus, the necessity for sophistication.

Now, I bring this up not only to express my disbelief in people in their 20’s and beyond behaving the way I did at 14, but also to make a point on the subject of Liberalism itself. Because this problem doesn’t exist solely in the realm of the Lefty late bloomers brought up in religious strongholds. No, this problem has roots everywhere. And most recently, it has been seen displaying itself on the streets of cities across this country.

Personally, I consider myself to be a pretty Liberal thinker in most aspects. There are a few on which I’ve been known to take a more classical conservative approach (the death penalty for one, war for another), but in general I usually find myself thinking like a love child conceived by Christopher Hitchens, Karl Marx, Bernie Sanders and Bill Maher. Even so, I have not agreed with the stance of my wife’s classmates and others like them about pretty much anything since I was 16 years old. They are naïve to the point of being almost laughable. Go ahead, head down to the local hipster hangout in your city and ask them who they want for president (if anyone) and why. Go, ask the questions and witness the infestation for yourself.

Liberalism has found itself taken hostage by spinelessness and irrationalists. Those are the two sides to the hideous coin that has become the public face of the modern Left leaning political and social spectrum. We have the spineless mainline Liberals like those in Congress who are too afraid of stepping on any toes to actually doing anything that could be considered remotely progressive. And then we have the irrationalists, who are so quick to champion any bullshit cause that can be considered “Liberal” that they have turned our side into a complete mockery in the eyes of the Right. So now you understand why I so casually referred to them as “fake” at the beginning of this entry. The fundamental lack of understanding concerning the history and true meaning behind any one of their pet causes is what makes them so dangerous and stupid. Their entire reason for being seems only to be blind anger towards an enemy they can’t even define. Demonization of this enemy is their only weapon, but a lack of understanding about said enemy leads only to wild invention of its supposed crimes while the true danger of whatever is being discussed is ignored.

-Occupiers across the country screaming at the 1% without taking the time to learn a fucking thing about tax brackets, stock trading, hedge funds, the free market or anyfuckingthing else that caused the problems they’re so upset about.

-Extreme feminists everywhere villainizing all men everywhere while also showing a disturbing obsession with phallic symbols; never stopping to question or understand the nature of oppression or even contemplate the idea that a great deal of men are not the horrible opportunistic rapists we’re all made out to be.

-Ron Paul supporters claiming to be Liberals up and down this country showing a complete lack of knowledge about any of his policies or even realizing that he’s a Republican candidate. Yes, yes, he’s the Godfather of Libertarianism. But guess what? Libertarianism is a sect of Conservatism. Look at the little letter in parenthesis that precedes Paul’s name next time you see him on CNN, that’ll tell you all you need to know.

It goes on and on. As much distaste as I have for the spineless Democrats and Left leaning independents in Congress, I find the irrationalists to be far more dangerous. They are, essentially, the Tea Party of the Left. The basic principles are all there, buried somewhere at the bottom of ideology, but they’ve gotten skewed and distorted in the fog of anti-reason and blind rage. Don’t get me wrong. I’m just as passionate about all of the same issues. The economy, foreign policy, social justice, equal rights. The difference is, my stance on these subjects is not simply determined by going as far opposite as the over-elevated “devil” of an enemy as I possibly can. The difference is, I’ve given actual thought to the issues before forming an opinion. And so have many of my fellow Lefties.

That’s the difference. That’s what makes them fake, and us real. We attempt to see the issues for what they are: Complex. We avoid the arrogant black and white certitude of our fake peers by learning and trying to understand the subtleties of every issue that holds any importance to us. When I look at the members of the Occupy Movement, I don’t see rational people elevating the intellectual level of public discourse, I see a step backwards. When I listen to ignorant Liberal Arts students yelling about racial oppression and the need for marijuana legality, I don’t hear a person making reasoned and well-thought out arguments, I hear a blithering idiot who has done literally no research on the subject of his/her anger. I see and hear hijackers. Nothing more. Dimwitted embarrassments for our side that are retarding the progressive movement of this and every other nation out there.

So yes, when I was 15 years old and trapped in Southern Utah and a devoutly religious family, I was like them. I yelled and stomped and clawed and scratched just like them. But then I decided to get a grip and cool my jets. I decided to actually read and study and fucking learn about these subjects I was yelling so loudly about. I found myself wholeheartedly disagreeing with so many things I had been sure were the pure truth just months and years ago. I found myself turning into a much different, but wholly better person. And in the end, I found myself more purely defined as a Liberal than I had been before.

In the case of my wife’s peers, all in their 20’s or beyond, living in the religious center that is Utah and age are no longer excuses they can make without sounding absolutely childish. For everyone else, the same holds true. The excuses you can make for the behavior of your 15 year old self are no longer good enough. The time has come to grow up and, as I said before, evolve and sophisticate your way of thinking. Left or Right, what matters most is how the opinions and ideas were formed. If you came to your conclusions by research and study; by genuine and honest thought and discussion; then you did it right. If, however, you came to those conclusions through ignorance, useless prayer, blind aggression, determined contrarianism, selfishness, greed, some or all of the above…well, then you’re either one of the hated irrationalist fake liberals I’ve spent so much time talking about. Or you’re a Conservative.

Either way.

With Romney picking the lead back up in a big bad way since Arizona and Michigan, Santorum’s got eyes focused on Ohio. However, I fancy Romney in Ohio over Santorum. But I’ve been wrong about this stuff before. We shall see.

You all know how I feel about Santorum, I covered that pretty extensively last time. And while it is true that I’d feel much less terrified with Romney running things, I still say he can take his lack of concern for the poor, his standard GOP fixation with God’s supposed love of the USA and his inability to stay on one side of an issue and fuck himself. Not nearly as dangerous as Santorum in the long run, but absolutely horrendous and crippling for this country in the short.

rick santorum: simple fuckwad, or evil fuckwad?

With the upcoming election drawing ever nearer, I find myself once again watching a slew of Republican hopefuls trying to outdo one another on just how conservative they can be. You have the usual attempts at seeming more devoted to God than their fellows; being more against abortion; more against gay marriage and overall more GOP lovable than anyone that would dare challenge them. And this goes for all of the candidates (well, except for Ron Paul, but he deserves his own post).

However, no matter how conservative you are, if you want this man to be president:

Then you are exactly what is wrong with this country.

Look, I take plenty of issues with Mitt Romney’s stances on many subjects. As anyone who reads this blog knows, I’m also not a fan of Newt Gingrich’s. Hell, I’m not a fan of Republicans, period. But there’s a special spot in my heart reserved for conservatives like Rick Santorum. And that spot is covered in shit.

The moral compass of this man is so misguided that no one in their right mind should feel glad at the idea of him being in charge of anything, let alone an entire country. To Rick Santorum, there’s nothing in the world wrong with stating that the current President’s theology is “phony.” Simply backpedaling and claiming later that you were talking about environmental policies isn’t good enough, Mr. Santorum. We all know what you really meant because you have a long, long track record of comparing everything you do and think to something in the world of your religious beliefs. To you, religion is the answer to everything. A strong Christian faith is equivalent to strong moral character.

And hey, you have a strong Christian faith, don’t you? And by your own logic, you should have a strong moral character. But you don’t. You have the opposite. By a long shot. You’re history of venomous hatred towards gay people, contraception, non-married parents, liberals, Barack Obama and anything that isn’t ultra-conservative Christian shows, in my opinion, the absolute lack of any moral fiber whatsoever. I mean, come on, you cited Charles Murray as a source for fuck’s sake.

Sir, you’re not a man who simply disagrees with me. I typically don’t attack people for doing nothing more than disagreeing with me. However, I absolutely do attack people who are as thoroughly poisonous as you are. You define yourself by the things you believe in. And it just so happens that what you believe in, what you stand for and the convictions you hold are just backwards, bigoted and sinister enough to ruin this country once and for all.

Look people, you though George W. Bush was bad for us? Just fucking wait until Rick goddamn Santorum takes office. You’ll be begging to have Bush back.

the death of reason.

I’d been meaning to write something new for a while now. With the upcoming election and whole slew of other topics filled to the brim with good material, I do have plenty of ideas about what to discuss. However, real life has gotten in the way time and time again, so this will be short. Inspired by a conversation with a dear, dear friend today (whom I love despite what occurred in aforementioned conversation), I have but one thing to say.

If you consider yourself to be a logical, reasonable person, take the time to also consider this: If your view of the world has started to boil down to the simple notion of:

“My theory of this particular event is supported by absolutely no empirical evidence, but it still makes more sense than any other stupid theory not supported by any empirical evidence. My theory, while stupid, irrational and asinine, could be true. But all those other stupid, irrational and asinine theories? Well, those are just crazy.” 

Then maybe you should take a look inward and stop thinking of yourself as so logical and reasonable. Maybe, just maybe, you’re as crazy as the rest of them.

the poet and the politician: walt whitman, newt gingrich and the GOP

“He’s a very Walt Whitmanesque candidate — he celebrates himself, he sings of himself, he is large, and he contains multitudes.”

After just a cursory glance through Arianna Huffington’s past political editorials, one begins to notice rather quickly just how witty she can be when describing presidential candidates. However, this particular quote about Newt Gingrinch is one that caught my eye simply because of how gloriously accurate it has proven to be over the years. While Huffington’s intent was probably nothing beyond a witty quip made for quip’s sake, when examined with even a small amount of scrutiny the comparison proves to be accurate in more ways than one. As stated quite clearly in the above quote, Newt Gingrich has never been one to shy away from saying just how spectacular Newt Gingrich actually is. While it’s true that he’s never gone so far as to refer to himself as “a kosmos” (as Whitman did on page 35 of Leaves of Grass), he has been known to make boasts that come across as similarly self-aggrandizing.  Such as, “I helped lead the effort to defeat Communism in the Congress.” In my relatively short amount of time living with cognizance and awareness of this planet, never before have I observed a candidate with a head as literally large as it is metaphorically.

However, as previously mentioned the comparison that can be made between Whitman and Gingrinch doesn’t rest its head solely on their mutual love of themselves.  As is evidenced by Whitman’s verse within Leaves of Grass he had a particular affinity for the sexual desires of humankind. Or, put more succinctly, Mr. Whitman had a particular affinity for the sexual desires of himself. Whitman’s own sexual wants, subsequent sexual conquests, pre and post coital feelings as well as general musings about sexuality are weaved into a sufficiently bright tapestry that leaves very little to the imagination. With even less left to imagine and speculate about, Newt has conducted his personal life in an extremely similar manner. He married his first wife, Jackie Battley in 1962 when he was 19 and she was 26. Eighteen years and two daughters later, the couple divorced after it was discovered that Newt was having an affair with Marianne Ginther, whom he later married a mere nine months after the divorce with Jackie was finalized in 1980. The most notorious aspect of this story is the fact that Jackie was sick with cancer at the time, reportedly recovering in the hospital after surgery when told of Newt’s desire for the divorce. While this in and of itself may not be the most outrageous tale of a marriage gone sour ever told, what gives that wonderfully Whitmanesque flair are the reasons which Newt reportedly gave for the affair and subsequent divorce. As reported by L.H. Carter, his campaign treasurer, Newt said of Jacqueline, “She’s not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer.”

 A similar pattern repeats from that point onward. Newt was eventually divorced from Ginther after carrying out an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who happens to be 23 years his junior. Worth noting in this particular instance is the fact that Newt again later married Bisek just as he had done with Ginther after his first divorce; and the fact that Gingrich’s affair with Bisek took place during the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal. A scandal that Gingrich personally took to the front lines to prosecute on behalf of the moral majority. It is in this that we see the Whitmanesque views on sexuality flourishing more than ever.

Beyond the similarities one can draw between the poet and the politician, however, I find the most striking comparisons within the realm of modern Republican politics as a whole. As much as I’ve said about Gingrich in particular, the same can be said about numerous politicians within the GOP. Perhaps not so much in the methods and execution, but most certainly within the attitude and the outlook. While certainly not all Republican politicians have numerous affairs throughout the course of their lives, they all make their way through political life in much the same way as Newt has for over three decades now. The names, the faces and the particular instances may change, but the song always does remain the same and the Whitman in all of them eventually manages to find its way to the surface. These days, as far as I can tell, the Republican attitude can be easily described as being lifted straight from the Gingrich playbook, which of course means lifted from the Whitman playbook: Do what it takes. Get what you want. Focus on what gives you the most pleasure. Sing of yourself. Praise yourself. And stop caring, once and for all, what anyone else thinks.